The road goes ever on and on
So... Tinkerbell has passed on into the annals of the once-upon-a-time and never-again. He has proven again and again that he is a complete and total jerk who does not deserve the time of day that i've been giving him. This time when he proved what an asshole he is I finally came to my senses and booted him from my life... Thank the lord that he's graduating and I'll never see him again after then.
However life goes on and I'll eventually learn how to not want to throw a brick through Tinkerbell's cranium whenever I see him.... Nevertheless, life will go on and hopefully I'll become better for it.
My latest project is trying to find a new AIM screen name, one that fits me better than the one I got at age twelve. So far I'm having little luck, but like always I'll move on and find a new project. As you might have guessed my attention span is nil and I go back and forth between different projects. I'm rarely ever able to set my mind on any one thing. A fault that annoys me beyond belief!
In other news... My aunt's bulldog had puppies. Two boys and a girl. They're absolutely adorable! Their eyes are finally open and their walking around and barking. Like all babies they're totally cuddle-able! Gabriel and Cesar are the boys and we named the girl Angel. She completely lives up to her name and Gabriel should have been named Sleepy. He can fall asleep anywhere, anytime!
I'll end on that note simply because my focus has been broken... If I remember, I'll post pictures of the puppies soon.
A Collection of Quotes
I have this minor obsession with quotes. I have an entire file on my computer of various quotes. As time goes on I can see the caliber of the quotes changing from ridiculous and immature to more wisdom... and a lot more love quotes. These have been weighing heavily on my mind due to current happenings between myself and a male friend of mine (we'll call him Tinkerbell for no other reason than my own amusement). I have been finding quotes with which I can relate due to this situation, I am hoping that by putting them here I can try to figure out something, or receive advice that might help.
Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you. ~Author Unknown
Not that I'm sure if I love him or not... I'm thinking that it's pretty close to something like that... But I keep trying to tell myself that I'm too young to be in love. But if women my age were often already married just one hundred years ago, how am I any less capable of recognizing love?
“Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.” - Santayana
I've had issues with guys in the past. You know the ones I mean, the attractive, suave, sweet-talking guys. They have great bodies and are great liars. But Tinkerbell seems different... then again... so did the last one.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
You know... Sometimes I'm not so sure about that...
The art of love... is largely the art of persistence. ~Albert Ellis
Tinkerbell is strangely persistant, however, the other day when I forced him to talk with me about what he wanted he suddenly did a complete one-eighty! He had been acting as though we were together, but the moment I asked if he wanted us to be together and have an actual relationship he said that he was confused because he was afraid that if we did date our friendship would be ruined. And men say that us women are complex. I wish that I could forget him... but every time I try Tinkerbell comes bounding up with a hug and a joke.
We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
Ain't that the truth!
You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
He used to say it all the time... Usually while laughing... but now he's stopped.
To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
Everytime I see him, and he walks by without a word or gesture, my insides get this funny crumbling feeling...
of all the words in tongue or pen..
the saddest are these..
what might have been. --author unknown.
Tinkerbell says that he still cares, and yet he doesn't want to take the chance that something might go wrong...
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And now after that thoroughly shameful piece of angsty teen crap that I should delete I free you from your misery. If you're reading this I obviously went against my better judgement and posted it. Most likely because I'm completely desperate for advice.
Attempt number *insert absurdly large number*
Once upon a time I decided that I wanted to have a blog, just because. Actually, it was partly the fact that my sister had one and she's just so freakin' cool and funny that I thought "sure... what the heck... I wanna blog too!" And so I went to that nifty search engine called Google and looked for a blog site. Found a blog site. Signed up on said blog site. Wrote an introductory entry. And promptly forgot all about it until about a month or two later when I decided to put something else on the site. I started writing something half a bajillion times, and was distracted... most likely by something shiny or sweet. And so now, a few years later, I am older (and hopefully wiser) and ready to start anew. (Yes, part of the reason is because my sister is "so freakin' cool!")
My sister and I both possess a love of writing, her of the comedic type and myself of the barely-off-the-ground-can't-write-anything-that-doesn't-turn-into-overdramatic-crap type (Yes, I am somewhat self-deprecating at times). Don't get me wrong, I love writing, love watching characters develop, but inevitably my characters will turn into the overdramatic, lovestruck fools of teen fantasies. My sister however, she has a true talent. Whenever she posts a new entry or story I race to read it immediately and proceed to laugh myself sick the whole way through it. She has this way of describing funny happenings and putting you in her mind as they're occuring so that you feel as though you're right their. Her favorite topic is her family and day-to-day life... namely her daughter and the antics of everyone around them. Since they are related to my father and I they are automatically crazy. Not in the strap you in a hug-me jacket and haul me off to the funny farm crazy, but the quirky "don't try to understand me, you won't get it" crazy. She is quite the individual and takes great pride in her uniqueness. Our senses of humor are somewhat similar and I remember going to visit her, a year or two before I started high school, and us laughing more than talking, or talking through our laughter. She recently called us (my parents and I) for Christmas and during our conversation requested more photographs of me. Apparently the school picture my mother sent is the first picture she's had of me since I was two... She's twenty years older than me... in case you were wondering. I promptly told her that there were very few pictures of me because I tend to flee whenever I hear the telltale 'ding!' of the camera turning on. She laughed and said something along the lines of "tough". So I know that within a week she will have pictures that I never knew were being taken...
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