peilin

neither here nor there//

2 more weeks to the end of sch. Yes, it’s really the end of sch, no more lessons after that, just 1 exam though. Much of what many sch kids have been looking forward to, but I wonder..so what’s next? Lost. So much for the years of education, and I feel I’m concluding it neither here nor there. One of the greatest regret or yet to accomplished aim in life?
Anw, haven been updating for a long time. This final sem is simply “bizybizybizybizy!” even lyon has been telling me that all the time! Just as I tot yr2 sem 2 was the worst sem for chem engineers, I think I was wrong. I shouldn’t expect the final sem to be any better for a chem engineer. DESIGN PROJECT! The greatest horror to me. Seriously. Thinking of it makes me feel so sad and lousy. We handed in abt ½ our report on mon. finally a chance to gasp and rest better in these few weeks.
Following the week of fyp presentation, I fell sick. Got the very very bad sorethroat which I fear a lot. It then got transformed into cough which lasted for the following week plusplus. And that was very bad. I must say in any obstacles we meet in life, the greatest hindrance would be bad health. Last week was really bad. The days when the irritating cough just keep coming at night. The days when I was so tired but just couldn’t afford the time to rest properly. The days when reality hit me. Just how stressed n depressing it was. The feeling of u try so hard, but your body is not supportive..and no matter how hard you try, you know you carn achieve as much as what others have, you know you won’t be able to meet all expectations..and you know the returns you get wouldn’t be what will make u feel better. Everything was just going down. Each time I stare at the com, the ben kui feeling comes. I so agree when leo say ppl do DP until they cry!
It was a totally different feeling from those fyp days.those fyp days were the days when my body was fit and I was motivated to spend long hours to work hard for..i was encouraged..perhaps I suck in group work. I’m better in individual work where I can control what I wanna do, how much I wanna achieve, and I’m not burdened by how much others want. At least I only harm myself and not others in any case. Not that my grp members are bad, they are good, but too good that I feel I’m short-changing them and just don’t have the capability/ability to contribute as much as the grp needs. L-o-u-s-y is the word. Simply a “pooof” that blow away totally those encouragements that others give me in the past, esp the IA days. The days when they stayed over in sch or wt’s house, I just went home. Though I have my reasons, like I wasn’t too well and don’t wanna harm my body, have 8am lesson, wanna attend biobiz..oh well..if I say I’m young and it’s time to chiong, those were just crap and in grp work, everyone has to sacrifice. Yes I suck at that for I just carn bring myself, my mind, my body to accommodate them. Having indon proj on the fri before the deadline, I missed a large part of the meeting again..try to work from home, while my frens were helping in the kitchen. Felt bad for both sides. The project presentation, it was supposed to be a joyous session, where every grp go on stage to present their part. The performances were lively n farnie, but I just carn brg myself to laugh. I really wish the project day was held on another day when i was less stressed. And I just stayed awhile before leaving for DP. The guilt of having to leave my cooking grp before our short presentation and the guilt of having to leave the DP group for the entire afternoon..i’m not doing anything well..neither here nor there. Well..at least I think I tried my best. My cooking grp frens understood. =)
The horrible days…I so wanna watch many many dramas, get proper rest and enjoy life. Otherwise, I so wish I could do well in DP. But the later was simply beyond my capability. Just not my forte and it’s really torturous for me. And of cos the former wat out of the mind! I feel I try so hard. On one hand ppl who see that I’m sick for so long ask how come and ask me go rest well, on the other hand, I think having 4hrs of sleep/day is seen as a lot for other chem engineers who’re in the same boat chiong-ing DP. What’s 4 hrs when ppl are sleeping 2hrs each day or didn’t even sleep?? The bad cough, u wan it to stop, u have the cough syrup from the doctor in front of you, but u just carn take cos it’ll make your body feel very tired and u carn work. N you cough cough cough and your mother ask u go see doctor, but u know so wat? You don’t even have time to see doctor and rest well. Ahh crap…wish it was all a nightmare!
Now, finally feeling much better! What is done is done. At least I feel I’ve tried my best and dui de qi myself. went for interview with west yest morn too. hope i wasn't too bad..n hope it'll at least give me some encouragement n motivation in job hunting! On to the 2nd half, mech design and SHE. rmbering those all those who have been looking up to me and having faith in me, telling myself: Just try your best no matter what. Even if nobody is there to appreciate, God is there to understand, to appreciate, to recognize, to give me strength! 2 more weeks! GO PEI LIN!!
"these trainings will shape me to be a better Pei Lin"
Pei Lin

@ 30/03/11 10:36 AM | Comments (0)

happy vdae! =)

it's vdae today, just feel like shutting myself from everythingelse so it can just be like any other normal day to me. i think she's asked abt it for abt 5 times already! but each time, i just dun feel like talking or opening my mouth/moving my brain to brg everything out. escape to the quiet corner for my chinese/indon lesson with deny in the morn. followed by some time to kill before lab3viva in e5 comlab. connecting my ipod to my ears to shut myself frm all the convo behind me. trying to force myself to study for viva to keep me occupied. 1st viva for lab3. bad..cooling tower...seriously noe nuts abt it...just trying to smoke my way through..hope i'll pass the lab sia..after tt, made my way home, finishing the almond drink under the hot sun. yes tt's my lunch. home. keeping myself occupied again with some work while waiting for the sun to set. and then i can go for my jog. run run run. running away from reality. running in my own world..really. and then back. bathe dinner and tv took up a large part of the nite. good. and soon the day will end with a early nite for the 8am lesson tmr.
Pei Lin

@ 14/02/11 2:25 PM | Comments (0)

vroom vroom vroom!

happy new year to all! it's cny again!! to all young chaps out there, hop around in this rabbit year and collect lotsa lotsa angbaos! =)
it's 3feb2011. more than a month of the new year has passed. many things happened. not all that smooth-sailing, but some things still unwound nicely, so i carn say i'm all that unlucky too. well, i hope all bad things will just represent the end of the tiger year, and this rabbit year will be much better.
on to my final semester. the more i carn deny that the reality is really crude and selfish at times. i'm graduating. i'm 22. whether i'm ready or not, whether i want it or not, time for me to step out and be independent. unfortunately, tt's the reality.
with fyp last semester and design project this sem, i think i dun needa say more abt how busy my final year is =s. i tot final year will be slack but...not so afterall. i think i'm getting more n more workaholic. not sure if tt's a good thing. during fyp, i think sometimes i'm just motivated to work hard for it and try my best, tt explains all the long hrs in lab n comlab. for design...hmm..it's really smtg i noe i'm lousy in and i dun like doing. it's just how much i hate doing things i'm lousy in and just find out how much more lousy i am in reality. =( seriously...minimal interest in such things man...but i think the only reason why i'm still trying so hard is i wanna play my role as a good team member. asking me to design an IGCC...ya i'm a chem engineer...but asking me to deisgn an IGCC plant is like asking those without any bio background to design a biologic plant. too bad, i dun have a choice...
career fair..marks the start of my job hunt! not much interesting jobs there actually...kinda feel the jobs there are just my backup jobs...=s still hoping that i'll get to do what i really wan..
with things swinging up and down, it's making me tiring..so tired that sometimes, i actually feel it's good that there's design proj to keep me occupied and away from other things..haha..even though i hated design so much...
it's cny ppl! have a great hol and wkend before all work resumes on mon!!
Pei Lin

@ 03/02/11 1:47 PM | Comments (0)

inevitable disappointment...

finished watching "1Litre of tears" recently given the pretty slack timetable before sch really start. it's really a sad and touching story..making me reflect on certain things in real life..and one of which, i thought somewhat shows the ugly side of us humans, where some ppl are merely hypocrites. aya trusted her 2 closed frens so well. but even them, may appear to be hyocrites.yea, what a disappointment. sometimes, in reality, it's just not easy for a closed fren to be truely transparent or honest in front of you, for fear of disappointing u. yea, sometimes i'm like tt too. i think tt's bad and it shld be something we shld all change. cos i think i'm more disappointed when i'm in aya's position, finding out how ur closed frens, ppl who u've always trusted, really feel or think via an indirect way. the feeling of getting betrayed in a way..though not on purpose, but still, it hurts to really know their true thoughts via an indirect way. it hurts to know that they're pretending. it hurts to realise all the excitements were gone. it hurts to feel deceived all these while when the truth reveals. and it hurts more to find out that they rather share with others their true thoughts than with u..
only a few days into 2011. isn't one of my new year resolutions to be optimistic? how can i let this ruin my optimism. somehow, the feeling of being betrayed has yet subsided...but hope i'll soon forget abt everything and accept things as it is..perhaps everything is just cos of my strong desire for certain things, making me so sensitive..perhaps it's just cos of my inflexibility..ahh well...time to be more optimistic! i'm still young!!
Pei Lin

@ 12/01/11 7:01 AM | Comments (0)

final semester!!

previous entry was all about my fyp ranting and so i think i shld do a proper conclusion of 2010 and commencement of 2011..
december has always been a mth of celebrations for all. but not dec2010 for me. practically spent every day in sch, WSlab or comlab, with only a few days/nites outa those places for some teeny weeny bits of activities such as pharma visit, standard chartered marathon, and lunch or dinner with frens.
pharma visit to GSK, a well-guided plant visit i would say, and things are very much similar to msd api plant. the familiarity...brings confidence and memories to me, but still i dunno how similar a vaccine/biologics plant would be. it ended with a mini career fair at abbott. nice tour into abbott too..haha nice interior with lotsa milk and nice buffet..but actually i was kinda disappointed for not brging my resume. oh well nvm, at least i learnt my lesson and this shan't be repeated in future more impt career fairs!
stand chart! i completed a half-marathon! one of the great achievements in my life i would say. given the busy schedule, i really barely trained for it. there were so many days which i wanted to go run and train, but it was either raining or i'm stuck in lab. and before that, the last time i ran was a short jog a wk ago. but luckily, i convinced myself it's all in the mind. yea, it's all in the mind. looking at ppl all around me jogging, it motivates me to jog. yay! i made it! feel my legs shagged after tt, but i'm happy i completed it! wat's more is i did it under 3hrs! wooots! anw, me, victor, joanna and her fren another joanna started our 21km tgt..into sentosa, into universal studio, but somewhere outa universal studio, we got split up..haha. and after the jog, i was so tired, i just wanted to find a place to sit down and rest for a while. yeps, i did it somewhere near the memorial, and then when i felt better, i decided to walk back to padang to take a look at all the stalls. afterall, since i'm already there, i shld just take a look. and after walking around, i saw the osim foot massage! no queue some more!! woots! shiok to the max man...and so i went in for some massage and guess wat, i reunited with joanna! lol...fated! ;) haha then after slacking around, we decided to make our way to the baggage collection pt! long walk back eh..the only bad thing abt this year's stand chart i guess...after tt, met up with kenneth who successfully completed his 1st marathon! and we went for lunch before home.
the few gatherings i had...actually i think only 2..one with fellow pri sch frens and another with fellow interns! other than that...yea i spent almost every other day in sch and tt was how i concluded 2010! 2011 even came when i was in e5 com lab...heard sounds of fireworks, but too bad, carn really see from sch. saw a bit from e5, but the fireworks look weird..they doesn't fall..lolx. but anw, final year in nus, i'll nv spend new year again in nus and not to mention in e5!
2010..another year of enriching experience i would say. i guess i'm someone who seeks new experiences and learning..internship at msd, phuket, yog, fyp! enjoyable or not, all memorable moments of my life...esp fyp. serious! i may not have enjoyed all the long hours in lab, but it's one of the few things that made me feel lucky for the year. =)
2011. i tot it gonna be a bad year..with bad things happening one after another. like me not being able to take reproductive health, the module i waited so long for, getting outbidded in lab3, screwed up fyp report and stuffs. just how disappointed i felt at that moment in time. it wasn't till recently, dr lanry's forgiving email, great chill-out at genting, and having known joanna is taking indon too, that i feel, mayb my luck in 2011 isn't all that bad. =)
anw post-fyp trip to genting was great!! the last time i went was when i was 3 ithink...barely rmb how things were. but now, i noe where i'm gg and wat i'm doing. amongst the activities we did: rock climb, bowling, buffetS, icecream, themepark, casino, monopoly deal, cards, DRINK! haha...i think tt was the 1st time i drank till i felt uneasy...and i noe how low is my alcohol tolerance..hahah. 1st time entering casino for me too. aside from the stinky and smoky atmosphere, i think it's all not that bad afterall...although my luck wasn't very good. haha. nonetheless, it was still an enjoyable trip! =)
today is the 1st day of sch..dun really feel like it cos i dun really have lesson besides the indon intro lect soon...i guess i miss those sch days where everyone goes to sch and u see all ur frens in sch! gone are those days! =s haha. ok i need to move on! final semester....i really hope it gonna be fine..especially with design project..last sch project i guess..and hope it not gonna be a horror...be it in terms of frenship or effort.
next trip..probably grad trip already. decided to go with chem eng peeps cos i think this gonna be the only time i'm gg on a trip with them. afterall, we been through all the tough times tgt. but...our progress is s-l-o-w. big group, tough decisions. no idea how it'll turn up, but hopefully everything will be fine too..and i guess..i shld just be a follower wateva it is..
another year! 2011! new year resolution: to be more optimistic cos i'm still young to achieve what i really want! =)
Pei Lin

@ 10/01/11 9:19 AM | Comments (0)

when things just go upsidedown..

last year, 3jan, i was just back from an awesome experience in SEP. This year, 3jan, i can only say that i'm very disappointed in myself and depressed over how fyp report is concluded...
this dec hol hasn't been a hol to me at all, with all my time n effort dedicated to fyp. i'm prepared to do it and told myself to hang on there till 3jan. cos i know i've been quite relaxed for fyp during the sem and now it's time to chiong. I did it. was back in sch almost every day, and towards the middle to end of dec, every day and night. yes, i spent christmas and new year there! my 2011 even started in E5 com lab. watever it is, i think i'm not really complaining about it cos i feel it's my own responsibility to do my fyp and deny has been a very supportive mentor to me. although he pushes us all the time, at least he's a mentor who really cares abt us and it really encourages me from time to time to hang on and push on for the project. Despite the long hours and late nights in the lab all the time, at least he's there and always entertaining me with all sorts of stories to make things less stressful. this entire fyp journey will probably be the first n last research i'll ever take in my life...haha cos i'm just so not a expt person..there were times when i was really sad that after spending hours in lab, i just carn get any good results..the feeling is really pekchek and i just feel like breaking down..nv fail to remind me how i felt while doing physics expt last time in rv..but thankfully, deny and frens are helpful to come to our rescue...
with post expts, come the nv-ending matlab simulations...the days of camping in the freezing cold E5 com lab and taking up many coms for simulations with sherlene..staying all day n night long to write our reports and not enjoy much of a hol...i just told myself i wanna do it once and well. There's so much to do, and everything was kinda rushed...esp this last few days...have been sleeping only 5hrs or less and 2hrs yest to chiong finish my report..and i finally did it and arranged it nicely...n i tot i would be able to hand in a nice report which i'll be proud of after all the sacrifices time n effort this dec...but......
printing the report at 4+ and having the printing screwed up by the yih com, it's really a huge blow to me. we rushed and only manage to hand in the report a few mins past 5...and wat's worse is my screwed up hardcopy...really disappointed and dun feel proud of handing it in at all. it's all so sloppy and so unrepresentive of me and my effort all these mths...the colour printing was already damn expensive, but i tot i'm willing to pay it once and this report..but who knows..it's really all screwed...
goshhhh after tt, the more i think, the more i really carn take it. it's my FYP report, yes! FINAL YEAR PROJECT report! i can hand in all lab reports n other project reports in a nice format, why does it have to happen to this?? the most major report in my bachelor...and the one i really spent days n night to do it, and a report which i own it myself..was really freaked out at that point in time and on the verge of breaking down man...
but guess i've grown to be stronger...and the company of sherlene n deny make me feel better...though still the disbelief that i'm handing in a sloppy report and late somemore! so unlike me...
uploaded a perfect one on ivle, though late, but really hope that deny is right that drlanry wun mind...and really hope that he'll refer to the soft copy instead of the hard copy...
though fyp report has ended, but this is not making me any relief or happy...=( I did my best, but i'm just not allowed to show it.. wat a nice start of the year...
watever it is...i think there's nothing much i can do other than praying that drlanry would be understanding....and hope all my time n effort wouldn't go to waste...
Pei Lin

@ 03/01/11 2:17 PM | Comments (0)

yr4sem1 is over...

as the clock ticked by, seconds past, minutes past, hours past, days past, weeks past, mths past, and 1 sem past. i nv really enjoyed mugging n studying, but still, all these years of studies form a significant part of my life and will always remain as part of my memories..though the 2 exams are over, and 13-wk sem has ended, theoretically hols are here, but i carn seem to brg myself to feel it when the big FYP DEADLINE is chasing me frm behind.
some things tt happened over the weeks:
26oct-went for my very first job interview -- DBS MAP. haha. i know i screwed it up after tt, but it was still a good experience to get a feel of how interviews are gonna be. somehow after tt i was happy and decided to go buy KOI! haha.
30oct-my bro's big day! just how fast the family has been expanding these few years. feel happy for them as they move on in life. i think everything was fine and all the time they spent on planning has been paid off. it was a long but nice day!
deepavali wkend was spent chionging drug delivery report n presentation n lab presentation. 2 presentations on 2 consecutive days, but i think they're okay ba..
after the lab2 presentation, i really feel very lucky for tt module. firstly, i get good group mates. secondly, i get the better expts and the most fun expt! thirdly, i didn't get any really bad viva graders. lastly, my presentation happen to be graded by msphontinon who's a very nice lady! who nv even give us any Q&A cos she sees no point in having it after we already had our viva. instead, she just gave us some pts of improvements for our presentation. the underlying point is that, before i take this mod, i was quite afraid of this mod. cos it's a 4MC worth of chem eng labs and i tot it gonna be bad bad bad. still rmb how disappointed we were when we couldn't map it over in oulu. but, i'm really happy tt things aren't tt bad after all. enough said, results are not out yet. while i have been lucky throughout the process, i hope i'll be lucky to have a good grade for our end products (i.e. lab reports) too!
10nov-watched "you again". haha farnie show. quite long since i last watch a comedy. =) it's also the last day i'm gg back to lab before taking a break for exams..
the following wk was recess wk. the fact that it's already my last year in nus is making me treasure the time i have left in sch. lolx. went back to SVU lab to mug almost every day. gosh! 4 years in NUS and i didn't noe there's such a good place to mug in NUS till recently. hahas. i suppose the only drawback is ppl talking selfish-ly at times. but on other times, i was ok and the table n chair is really comfy to mug! lol.
ohh and on tues tt wk, it was yet another happening in the house. my mum accidentally swallowed a fish bone during lunch and started coughing out blood when she tried to cough it out. so she wenta see the GP who asked her to go to SGH cos only the hospital will have the necessary equipment to remove it. she called me while i was mugging to say dinner will be later cos she needa see doctor. she almost didn't wanna tell me abt it till i ask why she go see doctor and obviously i noe i wouldn't be able to concentrate mugging anymore. so i just accompany her to sgh. Thanks god that nothing was bad. the bone has probably dropped down into the digestive tract after bruising her throat. though it was a long 5-hr wait at the so-called emergency dept, i guess i'm not complaining given the fact tt everything's fine afterall. haha. next time eat fish must becareful k!
23nov- drug delivery paper. i think it's ok ba, since most of the questions are similar to past year qns. hopefully i didn't make any careless mistake and i'll be able to score well...
24nov-genes n soc! i think it no longer belong to the category of "sure-score" sia. though it's just MCQ, i think the mcq is really trick n challenging =(. feel quite demoralised as i was doing the paper. but hope it wun be too bad...
finally got my YOG pay n corrected cert! yays!
yest, wenta watch harry potter with kenneth. the fact tt i didn't read the book and didn't sleep for the 2+hr show makes it a good show. really! somehow i think it's in the genes that i carn watch long chim boring movies. lolx.
my parents wenta srilanka last nite. exams are over and i can finally spend time in the house, but my mum is overseas..make me feel the house is so empty. haha. reminescence of the feeling i get when i was in oulu alone in the room.
anw...i need some breakthrough for my FYP!!! i need some consistent and trusty results to write in my report!! ahhh...
Pei Lin

@ 26/11/10 8:35 AM | Comments (0)

happenings..

haven been updating for quite some time cos was either too occupied with stuffs or just dun feel like updating. but i think now i have the "carn hold on" feeling anymore and just feel like writing again..
lotsa things happened, lotsa thoughts start floating in my mind again, and too many thoughts are bad are me..i think. =s but anw starting with updates for the mth...
following an uneasy wkend at the start of the mth was my 22nd birthday on the 1st tues of the mth. sigh..no more 21..=( nonetheless, it was a different birthday frm all other yrs and i enjoyed myself! went to RWS for the 1st time, though didn't enter, but it was still a good getaway from sch to the happy joyous atmosphere there. went up the merlion too, but act i think tt one nothing much. after tt was dinner and watching songs of the sea. it's nice!haha feels like a tourist for the day. =)
met up with fellow 7 dwarves (minus py) for dinner at some hotel...oh no forgot wat's the name liao. bad memory. haha. anw it was a cafe, which somewat resembles the "wateva place" in coro last time. food was so-so to me, but the drinks can be quite exotic i think. =D
|0|0|0. the day i plucked up enough courage to step out of the box. took the flyer for the 1st time. luckily the haze wasn't tt bad then. haha. anw. dunno if it's a right or wrong choice. but decision made. feel tt to be able to come to this stage, it means smtg. decided to try it out instead of regretting not crossing the line cos i'm afraid of what is ahead. there's risk to take in everything in life. let's walk forward n see wat's ahead for us in the time to come tgt..
last thurs, met up with gh n yt for dinner at holland v. it seems like not long ago, we first met in msd for our neo and just started our attachment. and gosh! it's october now! already almost 4mths since we ended work. how time flies...suddenly feel the mths just past liddat..got the haven done enough things worth the amt of time tt's past. hope we'll have some interns outing one day!
last fri, admist our busy work, we decided to just meet for simple dinner. went sunset for dinner and icecream. simple yet nice.
last sat, finally all gals are back and we had a full attendance outing at marina square. spent most of the time talking. haha. we first started gg out n formed this clique some time after our As...4 yrs on..frm the time before we enter uni on to our final yr..we see the changes in our lives, the changes in us..man...make me feel signs n signs of adulthood coming when it's only 4 yrs on...imagine another 4 yrs on..we'll recall 4 yrs ago we were talking abt this n that and what were happenings n what we were up to. nonetheless, i hope we'll all move on tgt..
tues this wk, i wenta chevrons to redeem the free massage coupon i have frm ntuc income insurance. eeyerr...it was kinda disappointing...think it carn be compared to the one i had in thai la. make me miss those times again! and somehow i feel they cheated my coupon. oh well..they seem quite desperate selling me products, so i better siam first. haha.
wed, wenta clementi for lunch with leonard, yw, wj, pf n ss. then we had koi. trying koi for the 1st time! =) sinful..and so i wenta jog when i see the haze was better tt evening.
fri- went ss's house to swim with pf n yw.. more of teaching pf how to swim n slacking. hahas. then to jp for dinner! =)
it's wkend again! with so much work awaiting me..even though i dun really feel motivated to do, but still had to spend my wkend on labreport n fyp. though i dun like to do lab report, but still...sigh...cos so fast, it's our last report already! carn imagine yr4 sem1 is just gg to end so soon.....with fyp still hanging nowhere..=(
anw it's 1 wk to my bro's wedding! feel happy and lucky for him. but tt brgs lotsa thoughts to me again. remind me of my elder bro's wedding 2 yrs ago..and just happened tt 933 was playing quite a few old songs yest. remind me of the days when i first know weiling, remind me of the days when we were all students, remind me of the days when i was all looking fwd to after exams n hols to play. now, it's different..i just dun wan time to past so fast and so i'm not exactly looking fwd to it..and when the time comes, i just wish time could stop there. haha. thinking back on some things of the past, it still left me puzzled. i think i'll nv noe the answers. time to move on.. and stop those thoughts. time to live out of ideality and face the reality. ppl say i'm still young now, i guess i shld just trust n believe them and appreciate what i have now before i regret few yrs down the road. oh well..i shld just trust God, right or wrong, it's just part of the plan he has for me..=)
Pei Lin

@ 24/10/10 6:55 AM | Comments (1)

it's OCTOBER already!

it's october! my fav month of the year even though i dun wanna get older n older each year. seriously, dunno if it's signs of passing 21 or wat, when i see ppl celebrating their 18th / 19th birthday, i feel i'm more senior than them...dun really feel tt when i was celebrating my 18th birthday while others celebrate their 15th birthday. haha. tt aside..
last week was recess wk. had our first FYP presentation on mon. was kinda scared before tt cos really feel unprepared for it, or rather haven prepare finish..wanted to wake up early in the morn to refresh my memory abt my slides, and guess wat! though i set my alarm, i think i didn't on it, so it didn't rang! gosh...almost late! was late to meet sherlene, but luckily not late for the presentation.. luckily i was asked to buy breakfast..haha. ok though the yakun toasts were staring right at me, really didn't have the apeptite to eat till my turn was over. yays. thankfully things aren't tt bad! =) wenta lab after tt in the afternoon..tot i'll havta go lab like much more often tt wk and have quite little time for other assignments, but thankfully i only had to go lab on mon. thanks to having such an understanding mentor!
tues-mugging day, for me to start doing my assignments, esp the drug delivery one which i haven started! hohoho
wed-chill day! watched "going the distance", had icecream and dinner at din tai fung. it was a good break frm all the work! =) haha but since i was given a break on fyp to do my assignments and not go out, gotta work extra hard after tt. i supposed tt is accounted by the better concentration when i know i have less time. haha.
thurs-work work. then went raffles city watami for dinner with virra. gosh...i think almost everyone of us has smtg associated to the "i-s" la...tech-savvy grp of ppl i wld say..haha.
fri-went for the long overdue VFD training at schnieder. great to get to meet up with mei n yt. reminds me of those good IA days! after tt, wenta collect my yog cert from the SYOGOC headquarters which was so inaccessible la. it rained veh heavily when i was walking there...and my jeans n shoes were all wet...for a cert with the wrong signatures on it!! =s was talking to the person there with another guy...n the conversation seems to me like he's one of the good successful one, no insult, but personally frm everything, i think everything was quite disorganised under him. well..perhaps i'm too organised a person. haha.
sat n sun were clearing work days. feel quite happy when i see work cleared n my table more empty! haha.
this wk, started quite good when there's no mid-terms for me. hehez. but as the wk passes, it gets abit hmmm..........u'll know why..
mon was ok. tues was good when i managed to get 2 xps slots. 1st time succesfully bking xps after countless tries. and we managed to finish our lab for both wks within 1 wk! woots!
wed was i think one of my suay days man...when everything just seems to go wrong! firstly, for some unknown reasons, there seems to be some prob with my harddisk's backup system, where the files i backup are corrupted. arghh new harddisk! so i carn open those latest files i've been working on when i was in sch..so i carn do my work! secondly, when bking fesem, i dunno why i go see the xps page and only realise it when it's 10!! thirdly, god knows how there can be a hole in my sigg bottle and water keep seeping out...lastly, just as i tot it shall be a short day and i wanna end it early, cos it's a bad day and i dun wan more wrong things to happen, it ended up to be a veh long day. sighhs.. anw i had mac for lunch! finally mac in 98127391234682948 yrs! lolx.
yest-spent entire day researching on some stuffs for fyp. again, i simply dread such lit research la..so time consuming..so boring..and when it's unproductive, u really feel u can better utilise ur time. quite sian but i haven been veh fruitful...then went genes n soc. yay, only lesson for the day!
today-it's children's day! and i dedicated this free day to fyp. practically spent the entire day in lab..with some noob experiences. ok i think i've repeated the story enough n i'm too lazy to type here. stayed till 8+ in the end and deny was talking to me. yes i know he's hoping tt we'll be able to give him some WOAH idea and get some breakthrough for our projects...but i'm just afriad tt i'll disappoint him. i'll still try my best! even though research is really not my cup of tea and really, i think going through once in this fyp is enough for me. hahaha. i wun mind this one time for the experience, but i think once is sufficient. haha. i mean i really dun expect myself to come up with some novel invention in future la..even though tt wld be a great achievement. but such achievement is like me becoming an idol....lol...more of smtg tt i can just dream abt and work on smtg more realistic..
hmm..was kinda demoralised by the end of the day..not cos of anything in particular or anyone, but more of myself ba. perhaps the high expectations. ok perhaps it's symptoms of my lack of self-confidence...oh well...i'm just not really a risk-taker..and have many uncertainties.. =X
it's october...ahhhhhh i feel my 21 coming to an end........=( i'm still forever 21 at heart! hahaha...
it's wkend...hopefully things will turn for a better in the coming wk. haha.
Pei Lin

@ 01/10/10 4:31 PM | Comments (0)

hyped-up!

the hype of the semester is here again. it's the period of the sem where all assignments start piling up, deadlines chasing you, stuffs getting more n more challenging... stress accumulating! u feel the joy of learning vanishing..
last wkend was a long wkend with hariraya on fri. perhaps it's abit too much slacking tt's making me feel stressed this wk. haha. but i still enjoyed myself!
celebrated sy's belated bdae last fri at vivo..and also to meet up after she's been away for her work n travel......
wenta the dentist on sat to remove the thread. woots! the 3 holes are recovering well.. hehez =) after tt was just home to work work work.
sun was a chill out day at the mind cafe n spore river! nice break frm fyp n all! =D
mon was when all the stress set in! =( with lab viva to prep, fyp presentation slides and exxonmobil application. viva on tues by liubin...nv see her before..n she's scary..look so stern and serious, shooting us with all the really test concept tricky qns! =( it ended in half hour though. shortest lab we'll ever have i think. haha.
went for the dbs talk on tues evening too..2nd career talk i've attended. nice syncronised dress sense they have! somehow deep inside i still very much wanna go into pharm/bio industry..just tt i'm afraid of the competition n limited vacancies..so i think i'll just open up my options to better prepare myself for it and as backup plan. stepping out into the society in a yr's time. still the reluctance to step into 100% self-independence. still the reluctance to grow out of being a student (though i dun like studying). haha.
spent the night finishing my fyp slides n doing my resume n coverletter for EM. shagged. thankfully i only have 1 lesson on wed.
but the lesson was quite bad. it's our first drug delivery tutorial. and yes, just 1 qn. didn't have time to do, so i didn't do. was kinda relief to see actually karin n weiji didn't do too. ok i noe tt's not the correct attitude, but i didn't purposely not try it. i wld have tried it if i had the time. haha. but anw, was kinda demoralised when i look at the qn and dunno how to do it, yet there're quite a no of ppl in class who've tried the qn and were able to solve it. ok nothing's wrong with them being smart. just demoralised n stressed by reality..hopefully i'll have time to catch up in recess wk n things will be better..
yes i came home to submit my EM application. 1st job application submitted! let's see....
yest and today, more time spent in lab. ran more expts to get more results. but feel kinda lousy tt i can hardly get results at times. well...shall look on a brighter side..tt's why u call it EXPERIMENT. i'm so glad tt at least i'm having a helpful n smart mentor. though i feel abit bad for not getting him much significant results and he's been understanding abt letting me leave when i need to...=x hopefully as i run more expts in the time to come, i'll be able to contribute more...as much as i wan to...oh cells, pls be nice to me!! haha
recess wk is here! lotsa work to clear! but hope still got time to chill.....=x
Pei Lin

@ 17/09/10 11:13 AM | Comments (0)

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